The Fire

The Fire That Makes Me Speak 

Today I went to church on the web. No pews. No choir in front of me. Just my lap top, and the presence of the Lord. The message was about justice. Not the kind we argue about online. The kind God calls us to live.

The writing pompt about the fire of God’s inclusive and radical love. Not a small, polite love. A fire. The kind that burns away shame and lights up dark places. The kind that does not ask for a résumé before it welcomes you in.

That fire is prompting me to speak.

I know what rock bottom feels like. I know what it is to be judged for your walk. I know what it is to have people with degrees tell you what the Bible says, as if you have not read it for yourself. I also know what it is to be lifted. My mother, a single parent, made sure I had books before I had shoes. She taught me we are more similar than different and that hard work is the right way, not the easy way.

My faith is personal. God knows my name. He knows my nights. He knows my rebuild. My body is on loan and my soul belongs to Him. While I am here, He allows me to use my gifts and strength to write, to work, and to uplift others.

Writing was the therapy that allowed me to heal. Now it is the tool I use to help others heal. That is part of His justice. Seeing people. Not their past. Not their politics. Their humanity.

God’s inclusive and radical love does not erase truth. It makes room at the table so truth can be heard. It says, “You are welcome here,” and then it says, “Now let me show you who you were made to be.” That is the fire I felt today.

It prompts me to speak because silence has never saved anyone. I speak for the teen who thinks she is too broken. I speak for the adult who thinks it is too late.  Because rebuilding is possible.

The fire of God’s love is not comfortable. It convicts. It cleans. It sends. And today, it sent me to this page to tell you: you are seen. You are not too far. Your gifts matter. Your voice matters.

So I will keep writing. I will keep working. I will keep uplifting others. Not because I have a degree, but because I have a calling. And that calling was lit by a fire that does not go out.

Cathryn M. Murray Harris is a Ph.D. Candidate, mental health worker, and founder of Global Teen Club International. She lives in Salem, Oregon. www.cathrynmharris.com