God is so big

I Do Not Argue With God’s Size‍ ‍

People have forced their beliefs on me my whole life. They have told me I am wrong for what I believe. They quote verses with a tone that sounds more like a courtroom than a conversation. They use religion like a weapon and act shocked when it leaves wounds.

I do not believe much in religion. The Bible has a lot to say about religion, and most of it is not flattering. Jesus had His hardest words for religious people who loved rules more than people. Who tithed mint and ignored justice. Who washed the outside of the cup and left the inside dirty.

I believe in a personal relationship with my Maker. My body is on loan and my soul belongs to God. He knew me when I was knitted in my mother’s womb. He walked with me through rock bottom. He met me in the cocoon when no one else could see me. That is not religion. That is relationship.

I believe God is so big we cannot even imagine how big. The sky does not contain Him. Our doctrines do not contain Him. Our churches do not contain Him. And I believe Jesus is the gateway to God. He is the door I walked through. He is the truth that set me free when religion only told me to sit down and be quiet.

The more knowledge I gain from other religions like the Baha’i Faith, from Buddhism, from Islam, from the stories of people who pray different prayers, the smaller I become. Not smaller in worth. Smaller in pride. Because God is so great we cannot fence Him in.

My mother, a single parent, made sure I had books before I had shoes. She taught me we are more similar than different and that hard work is the right way, not the easy way. That includes the hard work of listening. Of reading. Of respecting people who do not believe like me.

I will not force my beliefs on you. I will not tell you that you are wrong for how you pray. I will tell you my story. I will tell you that writing was the therapy that allowed me to heal. That education enriched my mind and deepened my faith. That at 51 I am starting my PhD because God is not done with me.

You can tell me I am wrong. You have. But I do not argue with God’s size. He is bigger than your pulpit and my doubt. He is bigger than religion and bigger than my questions.

So I will keep my personal relationship with Him. I will keep learning. I will keep seeing people. And I will keep believing that the same God who made the stars also knows my name.