Healing
I Remember Everything — And I’m Healing Anyway
I’ve gotten so much healing from the traumatic experiences that tried to break me. I remember every hospital stay. Every encounter. Every person who walked into my life — and every person who walked out.
I remember the ones who called me “delusional” when I was simply in my right mind. The ones who assumed I needed to “get off Facebook,” not knowing I never let social media run my life. I post, I leave, I go back to my real world and my real work. I follow God’s laws, not man’s opinions.
My encounters with law enforcement didn’t destroy me — they strengthened me. I learned how to stand firm, how to navigate courtrooms across Oregon counties, how to work toward dismissal and expungement, how to speak for myself with dignity. I learned how to stay calm under pressure when others expected me to break.
Don’t assume someone is violent because of a diagnosis. Don’t assume all people with mental health conditions are the same. Don’t assume you know a person’s story. Learn to study, to listen, to ask — not label. Trauma doesn’t look one way. Healing doesn’t either.
Some of us are different because we operate by the Spirit. You can’t “read” me because I’m not performing for you. I’m walking with God. And yes, I’ve met pastors who wanted to mold me into everyone else. But Scripture says I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That means me — not a copy.
For years, my visions were silent. I was in the cocoon. But when I came to Salem, the true metamorphosis began. God grounded me. Taught me to forgive. Gave me strength in myself. Taught me not to judge, and to release the need to be judged.
Now I pray for the people in my personal life, and I’ve found friends who pray for me instead of ridicule me. That’s the circle. That’s the healing.
My complete story was never told — until now. And each day I learn. I grow. I allow myself to speak it in real life, with confidence, to whoever will listen.
I love myself unconditionally — flaws and all. I can do a portrait with a photographer, but I’m still the same beautiful woman with no makeup, natural hair, glasses, and teeth that aren’t perfect. Because I looked past the superficial and found her: the woman underneath.
She’s whole. She’s healing. She’s mine. And she’s free.
