Matchmaker

Let me tell you why I did dating sites.

Before the internet really took off, there was a site called Matchmaker College Connection. It was free. And yes, you met people — but it was Nellie in Canada and people like Laurence103 or Doni543 that made my days a hoot.

What you didn’t know? I used “matchmaker Carlo” to Photoshop my photos a lot of the times — and they would get approved. It was a fun, free site. Drama happened on that site, but that was a time we had MySpace. It was harmless fun.

I made a Matchmaker account on Lycos and realized you could write from the outside like the matchmaker used to do, and then tell people they were wrong. LYCOS Matchmaker found out and banned me from doing that. They sent a message: “We will call your mother.” 😂

I always uploaded photos, but I can count on my hand how many times I actually met a person. Sometimes I would message people that were in law enforcement. In Concord, CA the police used to give me rides to the BART station.

I was always scared of cops a lot, until getting locked up in Oregon. And here’s the truth: getting locked up is not a bad thing. The key is how you do in court. Dismissal or charges. With a dismissal, you just apply for expungement — and that’s free. Charges are a little harder to navigate.

The whole thing is: you stay present enough to stay sane and physically fit.

I learned the terms — “big butts” and “little butts” — that cop talk for inexperienced or experienced. Either way, I don’t mess with police or go out of my way for them to see me.

I did the sites for connection. For laughs. For life. Not for drama. Not for danger.

We were all just figuring it out — with bad Photoshop, free accounts, and MySpace songs playing in the background. And that’s okay.

We grow. We learn. We rise. 💛

Phd student, daughter of a retired police officer