Looking Within

On looking within and actually doing the work

Healing starts when we stop fixating on people we don’t know. We don’t stalk, we don’t feed rumors, and we don’t build stories around strangers. That’s not peace — that’s a loop.

Doing the work means asking: What’s mine to carry? What’s mine to release? I’ve lived chapters where I chased answers in old emails, message boards, and places that only mirrored my unrest. I tried to be the matchmaker, the fixer, the one who cleaned up messes that weren’t mine. I sat in rooms, slept in strange beds, left apartments with nothing but plastic bags, and learned that geography doesn’t heal what honesty can.

I’ve been in Motel 6s and behavioral health units. I’ve called police at Denny’s at 2am. I’ve had storage units broken into and felt like my rights were taken. I’ve also had quiet mornings where I chose to send a resume instead of a rumor, to buy groceries instead of grudges, to wait for my dad instead of running.

I don’t need to know why someone left a state job for property management, or why people stop in one city and not another. Credibility isn’t a zip code. And my story isn’t a court case — it’s a path.

I’m cool with the past because I stopped performing it. I’m cool with ending ties because not every thread needs to be pulled. I went to Eugene that way: lighter, with a mailbox, a room, and the understanding that the work is mine.

We don’t stay fixated. We look within. We do the work. And then we go live it.

If you want to adjust the tone, add or remove parts, or focus more on a specific theme like boundaries, recovery, or forgiveness, tell me and I’ll rewrite it