Held, Not Forgotten

Held, Not Forgotten

I’ve been down. Not the “bad day” kind of down. The kind where the air feels heavy and your prayers come out as whispers because you don’t have breath for full sentences.

I am human. Worrying is common for me. My mind runs the math on every bill, every mistake, every 2023 issue still sitting on my record. I don’t know all things. I don’t know how tomorrow will pay for itself. But I’m learning I don’t have to.

When I feel down, I pray. Not pretty prayers. Honest ones. “God, I’m scared. I’m tired. Help.”

And then I open my Bible. Not for a magic verse, but for wisdom. For proof I’m not the first person to feel like this.

Isaiah 41:10 hit me last week: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

I read that and remembered: God comforts me. Even when I forget, He is with me. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” That’s me some days. Brokenhearted. Crushed in spirit. And still, near.

Three weeks ago I was stuck on a 2023 issue on my record. I prayed about it because shame was loud. Then I found a clinic that will expunge it for $33. Thirty-three dollars. Not $300. Not a lawyer I can’t afford. $33. That’s not luck. That’s not me being clever. That’s an opportunity only God could open. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” He made that path straight.

I have opportunities right now that only could come from God. A nonprofit I’m building. School I’m starting. A small circle of friends who tell me truth. None of that is my hustle. It’s His grace.

Today I asked for help with my health. Then I got up, went to the store, and bought fruit and water. Small obedience. I’m praying I can get to the gym early and work on myself. Not because the gym saves me, but because 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says my body is a temple. Stewardship is worship too.

I still worry. I’m still human. But Matthew 6:34 tells me, “Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Today’s trouble was enough. Today’s grace was enough too.

I may not know all things. I don’t need to. God knows. God comforts. God provides.

And when I’m down, I remember: I’m not forgotten. I’m held.